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PRESCHOOL AND EARLY ELEMENTARY
Understandings
- Preschoolers recognize that one parent no longer lives at home
- Elementary school children begin to understand that divorce means their parents will no longer be married and live together, and that their parents no longer love each other
Feelings
- Will likely blame themselves for the divorce
- May worry about the changes in their daily lives
- Have more nightmares
- May exhibit signs of sadness and grieving because of the absence of one parent
- Preschoolers may be aggressive and angry toward the parent they blame
- Because preschoolers struggle with the difference between fantasy and reality, children may have rich fantasies about parents getting back together
What parents can do for preschoolers
- Repeatedly tell children that they are not responsible for the divorce
- Reassure children of how their needs will be met and of who will take care of them
- Talk with children about their thoughts and feelings; be sensitive to children’s fears
- Plan a schedule of time for children to spend with their other parent
- Be supportive of children’s ongoing relationship with the other parent
- Read books together about children and divorce
- Gently, and matter-of-factly, remind children that the divorce is final and that parents will not get back together again
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