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PRE / TEENS
Understandings
- Understand what divorce means but may have difficulty accepting the reality of the changes it brings to their family
- Although thinking at a more complex level, still may blame themselves for the divorce
Feelings
- May feel abandoned by the parent who moves out of the house
- May withdraw from long-time friends and favorite activities
- May act out in uncharacteristic ways (start using bad language, become aggressive or rebellious)
- May feel angry and unsure about their own beliefs concerning love, marriage, and family
- May experience a sense of growing up too soon
- May start to worry about adult matters, such as the family’s financial security
- May feel obligated to take on more adult responsibilities in the family
What parents can do for Pre / Teens
- Maintain open lines of communication with children; reassure children of your love and continued involvement in their lives
- Whenever possible, both parents need to stay involved in children’s lives, know children’s friends, what they do together, and keep up with children’s progress at school and in other activities
- Honor family rituals and routines (Sunday dinner, weeknight homework time, grocery shopping together, watching favorite television shows or movies as a family)
- If you need to increase children’s household responsibilities, assign chores and tasks that are age-appropriate (help with laundry, housecleaning, yardwork, meal preparations); show appreciation for children’s contributions
- Avoid using teenagers as confidants; plan special time for yourself with adult friends and family members
- Tell children who will be attending special occasions such as sporting events and graduation ceremonies, especially if you plan to take a new romantic partner
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