Colorado Team Mediation

Using books to talk with children about divorce

Children’s books about divorce can help them work through the issues they face. Reading books can give children a way to express their emotions and discuss issues that they may not otherwise be comfortable talking about. These books may also help parents understand children’s experiences of divorce.

GOT THE BABY - WHERE'S THE MANUAL!?!?: Joanne Baum, PH.D. Respectful Parenting from Birth Through the Terrific Twos.
It’s not your fault, KoKo Bear. Vicky Lansky (1998). Book Peddlers. This book is designed for parents and children ages 3 to 5 years to read together. Each page provides a large picture to show what is happening in the story and includes messages for parents. The messages for parents help make a connection between the story and what happens to children in real families. KoKo Bear faces situations that help him learn what divorce means, and that he is not to blame for the divorce. He is helped to talk about his feelings, and is told that he is still loved by both parents.
Dinosaurs Divorce: A guide for changing families. Laurene Krasney Brown and Marc Brown (1986). Little Brown and Company. This award-winning book is designed for parents and young school-aged children to read together. Stories are presented in a cartoon strip pattern and organized around topics that are important for children experiencing the divorce of their parents. Issues such as why parents divorce, living with one parent, having two homes, telling friends, parents’ new partners, and celebrating special occasions are discussed. Solutions to problems that may come up are illustrated by the actions of the dinosaur children and their parents.
How do I feel about: My parents’ Divorce. Julia Cole (1997). Copper Beach Books. This book is written for older school-aged children with some reading skills, but should be read at least the first time with a parent so that the child may ask questions. Topics covered in the book include: why divorce happens, difficult feelings, and feeling okay. Photographs and cartoon illustrations show that everyone lives in a unique situation. The book reassures children that they are not alone in having their parents divorce and that there is more than one way that problems may be solved.
Pre-Teen Pressures: Divorce. Debra Goldentyer (1998). Steck-Vaughn Company. This book, written for pre-teen readers, covers a wide range of issues. It is recommended that parents read it before reading it with their children. This book discusses common changes that take place for divorcing families. A variety of families are presented to show that there are many reasons why marriages end (affairs, violence/abuse and alcoholism). A variety of family stories are used to show that individuals adjust differently, make different decisions and move on to new relationships at different speeds. The children’s roles in their own adjustment to divorce are emphasized.

For parents

Making Divorce Easier on Your Child: 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust.Nicholas Long and Rex Forehand (2002). Contemporary Books. This book provides practical, effective advice for parents on dealing with issues including talking to children about divorce, managing stress, communicating with the child’s other parent, single parenting, and building a support network. It is clearly written and organized so that parents can quickly find information about specific issues.